You KNOW I hate your hats...

I just re-added Bloglovin and they make me put this "Follow my blog with Bloglovin" thing on my latest post to get them to recognize my blog.

I was told that once by my roommate. For some reason she hates this hat I'm wearing. Whateva, refrigerators gon' refrigerate. That's the saying, right?

I love this hat simply because it is ever so slightly reminiscent of a cloche, and goddammit, there is nothing I love more than the 1920's.  That decade was my shit. In high school I read EVERY PUBLISHED WORD written by F. Scott Fitzgerald.  I read letters he sent to friends, his largely hit or miss short stories,  his literary masterpieces... everything.  I could not get enough of the man's tales of the Jazz Age. 

But I have always been drawn to the 1920's.  I mean, a girl like me?  I can really get behind a decade devoted to short hair and flat chests.  Me, my perpetual pixie cut or bob, and my 32As would have been the pinnacle of hotness, I tell you what.

In fact, me and the Roarin' Twenties kinda got a weird thing going on.  Bahb and I were driving in Mexico once on a long, deserted stretch of highway with sand dunes on either side; there were a few worn billboards, and besides that, little else.  After a while of contemplation, I turned to him and said, "I've been here before, but it was in the 1920's." It just came out, it felt right, but seriously, what the hell.  Bahb gave me a non-committal response on par with, "that's nice, hun."

I mean, is there anyone else out there with an unhealthy obsession with a particular decade?! That's normal, right?  RIGHT?

Dress: Dear Creatures

Sweater: Scrapbook

Hat: Pins and Needles (Urban Outfitters)

Purse: Vintage Coach

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

Yeah, so anyway, it's starting to look like Rosie is probably going to be popping up into all of these posts from here on out.  She is one curious little bean and always wants to know what's going on... and, well, between the deafness and the cataracts, she legitimately needs to get within inches to feel out a situation.  Aww, my dear, sweet, geriatric boxer puppy!

All of this talk of my 20's fixation makes me want to revisit the Beautiful and the Damned. While there is currently no time leftover for leisurely romps through imaginationland with my friend, Reading, once my comprehensive is over I intend on making much more time for leisurely reading.  There is little more depressing than reading research publication after research publication.  Where is the whimsy in that?! 

Have wonderful days anyone who may or may not stumble across this.

Compul-stories.

WHAT?  What does that title even mean?  I'm sleep deprived.

I guess I am writing stories about studying for my Compulsories.  Hence Compul-stories... except they aren't called compulsories, I mean yes, they are compulsory, but, they are called Comprehensives.  My mom just insists on referring to them as my compulsories, "how are you're compulsories goin' hon??" she'll ask sweetly, and I'll cringe like a little ingrate at the faux pas.  

My mom is wonderful... my brother used to work at a popular night club called Pussy Cat Lounge and my mother would often ask him how things are going at the Pussy Club.  The last time I met up with her and my stepdad for dinner when they were in town she requested we meet at the Big Johnson's Steak House on Main... 

"You mean Bill Johnson's Big Apple?"

"That's what I said." No, no it wasn't, what you said was definitely more awesome, Mom.

I love it and her and unintentional sexual undertones.

Isn't it kind of warm for a get up like that, you may ask...

And you'd be right, except these were taken (relatively) early in the morning, and it is still lovely and freezing then... the layers come off quickly, I assure you.

Like so...

I still hate taking pictures, so some dumb looking stuff serves as passable with me. Anyway, my compulsories... they have been literally all I've done the month of March.  I work on the paper, which is essentially my dissertation prospectus, basically until I fall asleep, then I wake up and go "OH SHIT, I FELL ASLEEP!" and begin working on it again immediately.  

Tank top: Free People

Cardigan: BDG (Urban Outfitters)

Pants: Free People

Scarf: Forever 21

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

This has proceeded day in and day out for the last month.  It's getting to the point where I have zero enthusiasm.  I am an automaton.  It's gotten pretty bad, there was even some panic attacks in there... but thankfully I have the most supportive and incredible boyfriend in the world.  I'm serious, Bahb, will have earned a PhD just as much as me by the end of this.  He has literally been there for me every step of the way these past three years, whether its bringing me Samoas and orchids after I have a really rough week, or leaving the bar to come over and help me when I'm freaking out about my Comprehensive presentation; that kid is goddamn incredible. 

Long story short, after April 10th, the date of my Comprehensive examination, I hope to rejoin the ranks of those who live full lives, filled with a myriad of varying activities!  The most exciting decision I get lately is whether to fall asleep reading about the growth kinetics of the microporous materials I'm studying, or the resultant adsorption behavior. Oh man, I'm starting to tense up just thinking about it... I have to go study...

Oh, before I forget, you see that little guy in the left corner?? On November 14, 2012, I adopted a geriatric boxer puppy named Rosie.  She is old as shit, basically deaf, partially blind and can't even smell worth a damn, but she is so fucking cute and rambunctious it is unbelievable.  More on her later though, this guy has compulsories to study for. 

Have good days anyone who might stumble across this.

I've been everywhere, man.

Crossed the deserts bare, man.

I've breathed the mountain air, man.

Of travel I've had my share, man.

I've been everywhere.

OK, I haven't been TOO TOO many places over these last few weeks, but I've been pretty busy.  My mom was in town and we took trips to Tombstone, Bisbee and Sedona.  Then the next weekend Bahb and I went down to Mexico. Between work, school, my mom's visit, my stepbrother's wedding, the trips and Halloween stuff, it's no small wonder I haven't had time to a spare minute to post.

Not to mention the complete disarray my room and bathroom have been in, oh, and my absolutely abysmal laundry situation...

Thankfully the cable went out last weekend, so I got to stay home all morning while I waited for the Cox guy (who was basically awesome, by the way) and that gave me a chance to get caught up on some cleaning.

This outfit is pretty stock, nothing to write home about, just a good running errands/going to the lab type of a thing.  Although I probably shouldn't wear it to the lab, because I have a nasty habit of wearing beautiful, blousey tops with gorgeous drape to the lab and they inevitably get ruined because, well, the lab is filthy dirty.  OK, it's not filthy dirty, but if you rub up against the wrong counter top, believe you me, that'll be the end of whatever unfortunate article of clothing took the hit.

Top: Free People

Jeans: J Brand

Shoes: Ecote (Urban Outfitters)

Necklace: This incredible shop in Bisbee, AZ

I wanted to do a closer up picture to show the new necklace I got in Bisbee when I went with my mom, and the result is the derped out picture you see below. But anyway. the necklace was from this little jewelry shop with the most exquisite assortment of beads I've ever seen. The shop's owner, and creator of all of the jewelry, was quite literally the raddest little old lady I've ever seen, too. She was dressed ADORABLY, had the most insanely cute white pixie cut, and was in a convent, the star of a long running Broadway production and posed for Playboy all before 30.

I could have listened to her for hours. She had the most mind-blowing collection of beads I've ever seen. "This necklace is constructed from beads found in the Fertile Crescent that date back to 2000 B.C...." and "this collection of coiled beads was constructed from wiring removed from the wrecked remains of the Titanic." OK, while those might be slight exaggerations, that was still the gist. My mouth was agape most of the time while she was showing me her work and explaining its origin.

The necklace I am wearing is made of 1920's cobalt glass star beads, and I am completely enamored with the thought of the modern, darling shape of the puffy stars being made generations prior.  

I have a ton of pictures from my past month's adventures, and I may put them on here still, but there is one that I can't help but share immediately.  The picture below of me and Bahb was taken at an After-Halloween costume party we went to this past weekend...

We're Ninja and Yo-landi Vi$$er from Die Antwoord.  Bahb even shaved his head like Ninja's, which turned out fantastic.  

After we left the house, we stopped by the QT down the street because we needed gas and beer, and when I walked into the convenience store some kids yelled "Hey Blondie!  You look like Yo-Landi Vi$$er!" and asked to take a picture with me.  It was fucking awesome to have complete strangers pick up what we were putting down.  Also, check out those sweet gold shoes.  I was wondering where I'd get gold shoes when Bahb suggested we get a haggard pair from Goodwill and spray paint them gold.  It was GENIUS.  And now we're kind of on a spray paint things gold kick...

I'm just tellin' you tings.

Wait... Oh Gurl.  Is that- 

Uhhh, yeah, yeah it is.  It's another Dear Creatures creation.  This one was purchased via eBay for $30.  Weee!  I did mention that I've gone off the deep end with this Dear Creatures shit, right?

So, anyway, I have only had this this little frock of perfection for a week, and it has already been through the ringer...

It's a small, and I usually can't do smalls because I'm built like Justin Beiber from the waist up (make NO mistake, from the waist down I am ALL J.Lo, it feels weird to reference J.Lo past 2005... Also, I'm sure my dump is nowhere near as spectacular, but I'm just trying to convey I done got me something back there, this is a long parenthetic sentence, I literally did not know parenthetic was a word, I just typed it and it didn't have squigglies and looked it up, and that shit was spot on, now I'm just being a dick and typing to type, sorry), but the measurements said the waist was 24 inches, so I figured it would be fitted enough.  Well, the dress arrived, and it is just everything I could hope for in a dress, the cut, detailing, quality, colors... everything!  Then I  go and try it on... and it's... it's... HUGE.

I mean, beyond just a little roomy, this dress was incredulously large.  If I stood still in the dress, I could stand there with the dress not touching any portion of my body from the shoulders down.  That's how large it was.  This was, needless to say, a pretty big let down.  Then I got myself one of them ideas...

I'll wash it in hot water and then throw it in the dryer!

Dress: Dear Creatures

Sweater: Random Ross find from like 2006

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

Purse: DKNY

It really did resemble a pile of throw up when I opened the dryer, what with all the tan and subtle bits of green here and there, but it did the trick, the dress shrunk to almost perfect!

Following a really strenuous ironing... we were good to go!  Weeee, again!

I wore it to Tour de Fat the very next day.  For those of you not familiar with Tour de Fat, it's a good fucking time.  It's a Fat Tire beer festival that is heavily bike themed.  There is this huge bike parade that Bahb and I took part in this year, and a lot of people deck out their bikes as well as themselves in just ridiculous costumes.  It's a lot of dudes with handlebar mustaches wearing Speedos basically.

Anyway, it was hot as hell that day and I did my share of drinking, so this dress took a beating.  It got every beer flavor I enjoyed doused on it, it got some lovely grass stains and, my favorite, I dropped a beer in my purse (ruining my phone, but that matters far less) and it caused the black leather to bleed all over the side of my lovely, newly fitted Dear Creatures.

Then I got another one of them ideas...

And I washed it just as I did before, and it looked almost good as new!  I tell you what, this dress took a licking and kept on ticking.  

I feel strange typing so much about a single dress, but to be fair, I am just always around guys. Between work and the lab and school, I have so precious few opportunities to just spew nonsense about clothes, so when I do, I go to town; the entire history of the dress needs delved into and discussed.  It's kind of like those days when I would stay home sick or something and wouldn't interact with any humans until that evening when I'd see Bahb and I would just start to tell him every last fucking thought I thought that day, and he so politely goes "uh huh, oh, really?  uh huh, that's neat..." 

So every now and then when I start rambling and going on and on because I get so happy to see him and I feel need to share everything with him, and he'll just go "you tellin' me tings, huh??" and I get the hint.  I don't by any means stop talking though.  I talk a lot you see.   A lot a lot.

Ain't Nobody Got Time for That

Full disclosure here:  these pictures are from yesterday.  Today I am home sick... blech...

So this is basically as close to lab appropriate as I get.  I have on pants and closed-toed shoes... we're good to go!  I am so used to having to first change into pants or put leggings under my dresses or switch out my adorable strappy shoes for a pair of beat oxfords I keep constantly at school, that it was very strange to be able to walk right into the lab!

Fashion and function so very rarely collide for me.  

So although fall in Phoenix isn't like the fall some of you lucky gals are enjoying, I'm still fully interested in pretending, and found myself looking up yummy soup recipes during some down time at school yesterday.  I found a tomato soup recipe on Delightfully Tacky that sounded doable as well as delicious and that was, uhhh, that.  I was sold.  The rest of my day was spent dreaming of soup makin'.

As soon as I got home from school I dragged my roommate to the grocery store and we began. Two hours later (counting grocery shopping and driving time, the soup itself took like 20 minutes) we were happy as two bugs in a rug eating our amazing tomato soup and watching the new Bridezillas.

Chiffony Tank Top: Collective Concepts

Jeans: BDG (Urban Outfitters)

Socks: I just have no idea at this point...

Shoes: Dolce Vita
Sunglasses: Ray Bans

That evening, after I had dropped some of the soup off at Bahb's, I started to feel a little sick. I was getting a little nauseous and started to get that feeling like I'd been beaten with a bat all over and even though I had a ton of reading to do for school, I laid down and immediately fell asleep.

At 4:30 a.m. I woke up to go to work, but my nausea had only gotten worse, and I was running a fever. So it was back to bed I went... although, who the fuck am I kidding, it was 4:30 a.m., it wasn't going to take much to get me back in bed.

So here I am, laying under a whole bunch of blankies, feeling an enormous amount of guilt for not being at work or school!

On an unrelated note, I was just on the phone with my dad, and I was telling him how I'd made tomato soup last night, and without skipping a beat he said "That's great, Al, you finally learned how to use the can opener!"  Haha, oh Dad...

Anyway, I really do need to try to stay awake and do some school work.  Have great days anyone who sees this!

Dear Creatures Feature: Part I

Oh my GOODNESS, where the hell have I been?  How did I let the Dear Creatures train pass on by for so long?  

I mean, my word...

I very infrequently find myself admiring the quality of the clothes I own, which is mainly due to my love of Free People and Urban Outfitters (great styles, simply abysmal quality), but I am seriously smitten here.

I bought my first Dear Creatures dress this past month to wear for my birthday from Modcloth, which I will at some point wear again and put on here I'm sure, and from there it just snowballed.

If only the Dear Creatures phase would've kicked in when mama was still making it rain as a full-time workin' gal!  Because as it is?  I have to resort to scouring the internet for sales and markdowns.  Take this romper, I bought this romper off eBay for $18!  $18!   

The pattern is so precious, the detailing so perfect and it's wonderfully constructed.  This is not a piece of clothing that I need to be ginger with.  This is one rough and tumble romper!  

But seriously?  A romper off eBay?  That's a serious risk.  Especially for me and my elongated torso.  To illustrate this let me mention that my boyfriend and I are almost the same height when we are seated, which isn't exceptional in and of itself, until I mention that he is a full 11 inches taller than me.  

Romper: Dear Creatures

Jacket: Target

Hat: Free People

Shoes: Frye

It seems so trivial now, but when I couldn't wear cute one piece swimsuits or track uniforms, or when I'd get sent home in high school when my stomach inevitably showed because the Abercrombie shirts I lived in all through the early 2000's were just not designed to fit my body, my torso length really bothered me.  

When I was growing up there always seemed to be something bothering me about my body.  I spent my tween years praying to develop, hoping every summer that I'd be able to come back to school with a shiny new pair of boobs in August.  That lasted until high school when it occurred to me that I love not having to wear bras and then I started to fixate on how I'd look so much better if only my inseam were an inch or two longer to even me out a bit.

I am realizing that now, as I type this, that I am in no way insecure about my long torso and short legs anymore.  I don't know whether it comes with being busy and not having time to pick apart my body, or if it comes with the shifting paradigm of priorities associated with adulthood, or if it comes with just growing into one's own skin.  It might be a mix of the three, but it never hurts to realize you are so much more than your outward appearance (says the girl who blogs what she wears everyday). 

Take away point?  I need every Dear Creatures creation ever.  EVER.

Captain's Blog, Stardate 9522.1

So it really does appear that I am more or less incapable of creating a post that doesn't have a cringe-inducing, over-the-top, corny-as-fuck title.  It's kind of my "thing."  

Anyway, so this last year I didn't really post on here.  At all.  I mean I was, and still am, really really stupidly busy.  Like really busy.  Like a "SHIT! RUN HOME! CHANGE! GO TO LAB! RUN HOME! EAT! SHIT! GO BACK TO LAB! RUN HOME! CHANGE! GO TO WORK! RUN HOME! GRAB KETCHUP! BRING IT TO BAHB'S FOR SAUSAGES!" kind of busy, so it was only natural that this fell by the wayside.  

And that's fine, because while blogging is a thing, it's certainly not the be all and end all of things.  It's a great outlet and such, but I pretty much wrote it off as a thing I tried that didn't really "take."  However, as time passed, I was surprised to the extent I found myself wishing I had kept on top of it, if for no other reason than having a living document of what I've done and where I've been.  

I don't keep journals.  Every attempt at keeping a journal has started and ended the same way.  I see an  adorable journal/notebook/writing tablet of sorts at the store and go "OH! you know what, I should keep a journal!" so I buy it and begin writing in it... write away (I can't stop with the puns).  But that only lasts a matter of days and before long I lose it, along with my interest.  

This blog doesn't seem like that for me.  I mean, yes, it was this shiny new thing at one point, but upon looking back at it, it still makes me happy and I do wish it were a bit fuller. So frequently I have a habit of getting ahead of myself, I plan and worry and fret and I am constantly either living in the burden of the past or being horrified by the inherent uncertainty of the future.

Dress: Funktional (Nasty Gal)

Shoes: Ecote (Urban Outfitters)

Necklace: Hannah Makes Things (Modcloth)

Bangle: I got it at Dillard's forever ago

Bag: Gift from my mom

Sunglasses: Ray Bans

This blog really does help me extricate myself from useless worry and allows me to actually exist in the here and now.

With that said, I do understand that blogging is realistically the first on the chopping block when things get harried.  So in looking through all of the blogs I have followed over the years, I understand why some of those bloggers I developed interwebs relationships with haven't posted in a year or why they deleted their blogs altogether, but it still makes me a little sad.  

I guess I learned through trial and error that there are some things in life that won't allow you to just pick up right where you left off.  It makes me feel kind of shitty for quitting blogging cold turkey and not at least keeping up with those wonderful ladies while I had a chance.  

Fortunately there are still a whole shit ton of the amazing gals I used to follow who are still posting out into the ether, and I am so glad to be able to follow those blogs again (like Claire, who was probably my very first blog friend and the incomparable Lydia and the darling Kimi and, of course, Emily and Erin and at least a half dozen others).  So really?  I'm just being drama.  

Whatevs, I'm just feeling my feel feels.  Basically, this is yet another annoying "Alex learned some shit" post but at least my dress is perfection.

Seriously, I eyed that thing for the better part of the year, visiting it at Nasty Gal often.  Watching, waiting.  For that beautiful markdown.  When at long last it came, I sold some clothes on eBay to negate the cost, and long story short, I, uhhhhh, got me some dress.   

The Solstice with the Mostess

I'm a little late... but... FALL!  It's FALL!

The best season ever.

Since I've spent the last 26 years living in the greater Phoenix metropolitan area I have basically never had a good and proper fall.  It's sad to admit, but leaves don't even change colors here until well into January, when it is finally cold enough. So even though I say I love fall, I basically love the idea of fall.

Seriously though.  It's an obsession.  I love everything fall.  The sights, the smells, the tastes...

As I type this I am burning a Cashmere Woods candle by Glade (oh my GOD, it smells delicious) and sipping on the Republic of Tea's Pumpkin Ginger Spice black tea from my orange hued owl mug.  Even though the air conditioning is running, we are in FULL FALL MODE over here, people.

 

My love of the season extends to clothing as well.  The burnt hues and mustards!  I can't... I just... there are no words for how much I love autumnal hues.  This outfit made my day so much more fall friendly.  Despite the temperatures being in the low 100's, I was convinced that every breeze had a subtle tinge of chilly attached to it.  

Blouse: Tucker for Target

Skirt: Tracy Feith for Target

Shoes: MIA

Bag: Vintage Dooney & Bourke

Sunglasses: Ray Ban

Earrings: Electric Ladyland

There is just an excitement attached to fall, perhaps it is the barrage of occasions. Starting with school starting and my birthday and continuing on through Thanksgiving, there seems to always be something to be excited about during fall.  

And boy howdy does fall go by quickly...

Between school and work and midterms and blah and blah and blah, I really need to be on top of things to get the most out of the season.  The last two years in a row I haven't been able to carve pumpkins or dress up for Halloween with Bahb because I had stupid projects and tests, so this year I'm determined to keep shit under control so I can have time to indulge in all of the trappings of autumn.

Even if I have to keep the damn air conditioning down extra low to make sweaters and hot tea bearable, I will be doing that.  Because it's fall, weather (HA! a pun!) the Phoenix metropolitan area chooses to behave accordingly or not.  

Am I alone in this fixation?!  Fall is freaking fantastic, right?!

My Doppler Shift

This dress always elicits the most confusing observations from men.  I know that black and white vertical stripes are a lot for the eye to take in, but seriously guys?  It's not THAT out there.  For instance, take today...

I was walking to the bathroom in the ERC (the engineering building where my lab is located) and a man with a very heavy accent murmured something in my general direction.  He had a smile on his face, so I assumed he wanted me to hear whatever he said....

"eesdatyoursldfkjsdlfkjsdlfkjsdlfkjslkdfjs?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is that your sdflkjsldfkjslkdfjslkdf?"

"HUH?"

"IS THAT YOUR DOPPLER EFFECT COSTUME?"

*awkward laugh* "I guess so! uhhh... bye!" *quickly scurries off*

For how brief of an exchange it was, it was way more awkward than it should have been. While I will concede that I have a tendency to be super awkward when bombarded with unplanned human interactions, the problem was more that it served to underscore the fact that so much of who I am sticks out like a sore thumb around all of the other engineering grad students.

I mean, I have had people straight up ask me "are you lost?! I always see you walking around the ERC, are you looking for something?"  JEEEEZ.  You always see me walking around the buildings relegated for engineering research and study and you can't allot me the benefit of the doubt that, oh, I don't know, I know full well where I am and I have actual reason to be there?  

So while this guy was probably just being congenial and making a super nerdy joke about the busyness of the starkly contrasted, thin, vertical stripes on my dress, it struck a nerve.  

Dress: KNT by Kova (Urban Outfitters)

Shoes: Lovely People

Awesome Watch: Casio

Scarf: Goodwill

Also, you know when you think of the perfect rebuttal long after the moment has passed?  Like three minutes later I had completely moved on mentally when BAM...

"ACTUALLY... this is my Doppler SHIFT!" popped into my head.

AHHHHH! That was it.  THE PERFECT RESPONSE.  And I missed it.  Although, to be fair, technically this dress is not a shift because it has sleeves, and there's a good chance (A REALLY GOOD CHANCE) that the dude would have had no idea that a shift is also a type of dress...

Whatever, I am still MASTER of puns.

On an unrelated note, these shoes are wonderful.  Just wonderful.  Every time I look down at my feet, which, to be honest, is pretty damn often when I have these shoes on, I think of those awesome long balloons that you can make roses and creatures and hats out of.  One time a complete stranger told me my shoes reminded her of the same thing ("you know! like the ones that they make balloon animals out of?!") and, in that moment, we were one.  She GETS me.

Anyway, I'm goofy as fuck and wear weird things.  I decided a good while ago that life is too goddamn short to waste a single second worrying about what assumptions people will make about you based on your appearance.  As a mere mortal I do have moments where I feel insecure about the stark contrast between me and my constituency, but then I look down at my sweet ass shoes that look like they are made from those long balloons and I completely forget what I was thinking about and skip off happily. 

It helps to be easily distracted. 

Back in the Saddle

So the other day after a random, fateful Google image search, I saw a picture of me from this blog and went "Oh, SHIT! I forgot about that thing!"  So OF COURSE I took a few minutes and went back through all my old posts with increasing nostalgia... as I went further and further back it dawned on me that I started this blog over two years ago.  

I know that in the scheme of things, like the universal time frame and such, two years is a mere pittance, an inconceivably inconsequential amount of time, but for me, these last two years and some odd change have been characterized by a marked amount of transition.

It seems that eternal polarization is a constant for me.  When I started this blog I was completely put-together and self-sufficient, but mentally I was just a mess... now, as a 3rd year PhD student, I am pretty unsure of where rent is going to come from every month, but I am slowly but surely learning how to just chill the fuck out about it and enjoy what I have going.

I was worried that my 26th birthday would send me into the same spiraling sinkhole that the big 2-5 did, but such was not the case at all.  I turned 26 last week and my birthday was every bit a wonderful, low-key, happy day. I found myself strangely proud of my age (like the natural passage of time has anything in the least to do with me, my word, the EGO on this one), and the more easygoing acceptance I slowly began working to foster within myself this year. The stupid, suffocating, self-imposed expectations I have put on myself over the years had really begun taking their toll, and that kind of stress and self-loathing is so inconceivably detrimental and unnecessary that it became painfully obvious that I needed to change something.

I have to accept that grad school means I won't have the control I had when I was a full-time workin' gal. That's all. Grad school means less money, not less life.  I have often referred to grad school as a sort of prelude to a legitimate, adult life.  I found myself thinking asinine thoughts like, "I can't wait to graduate so my life can begin," but what the hell is the point in that?  There is no waiting for life to begin, it is an evolution of circumstances and situations, some well without the realm of our control, and I need to just live it and enjoy it.  To toil away waiting for life to begin is as futile as it is wasteful.  

Anyway, boring, winding, unfocused and long story short, in this last year I really feel I've gotten a little more outside of myself.  In revisiting my blog posts this past week I was reminded of how much I love having a chronicle of such a dynamic and random time in my life.  I regret not blogging since January.  If I would've blogged since January I'd have documentation of one of the more interesting years of my adult life.  If for no other reason than I will have an awesome archive of a hugely transitive time, I am hopefully going to get back in the saddle here.  OH!  Horse pun 'cause I'm wearing a horsey shirt!  That has post title written ALL OVER IT...

Seriously though, with my boyfriend, my partner in crime and adventure, I did some incredibly uncharacteristic things this year, and I couldn't be happier.  I am so thankful that I have someone like Bahb in my life, because left to my own devices, I wouldn't do a damn thing that was slightly outside of the very rigid confines of my comfort zone.   

Awesome Horse Tank Top: Free People

Less Awesome Horseless Tank Top: Forever 21

Skirt: Francesca's (a birthday gift from the wonderful Erica!)

Shoes: Dolce Vita

Speaking of the eternal juxtaposition in which I exist, I would love to say that I also opened myself up to new things stylistically this year, but the truth is that no matter how compulsive and neurotic and paranoid I can be, I always dress and style myself with reckless abandon. Case in point, I decided I needed a change, so this year I decided to go back to ULTRABLONDE! SQUEEEEE!  I more or less destroyed my hair's very will to live with all of the processing that was needed to eradicate all of the black dye I put in my hair in the spring of 2011... but I prefer to just call all of that extra damage added texture.

So here I am, blogging again after a few unceremonious and short-lived comebacks... it makes me feel a little fraudulent, but there we go again with all of the pressures I put on myself for no real reason.  And, to be fair, one of the bigger reasons I didn't blog this past year is because I haven't had a reliable camera. After barreling through two different point and shoots, my photography fanatic father very sweetly gave me his spare DSLR last month.  Needless to say, bumbling around with that camera and figuring out how in God's name it works is high on my Blogging To Do List.

Anyway, that was my requisite, angsty, mid-twenties, corny coming-of-age post, I promise those will be kept to a minimum...

Have great days anyone who sees this!

I forgot...

whatta nuisance taking these pictures can be!

I really am only posting these because...

1.  They have my beautiful boxer puppies in them
2.  LOOK WHAT I'M WEARING ON JANUARY 3RD!
3.  If I don't I'm sure I'll fall into a blogging oblivion once again...

Yeah, it's almost 5 p.m. on January 3rd and this is what I am wearing.  Arizona might be an absolute shit show in many regards, but can you beat this weather?!

Sure, we are probably the most boycotted state of all time, and perhaps people are specifically refusing to hand out auto loans to anyone living in Arizona (I heard allll about this from a frustrated colleague today), but shiiiiiiit son... look at that sky!  It's gorgeous out!  I was just driving with the windows down with my puppies with the biggest shit eating grin on my face.  It's just weather that makes you happy inside and out!

I mean is anyone else enjoying filmy little open-backed dresses sans tights and a jacket today?!  I hope so! 

One little, two little, three little bean asses, well two bean asses and a mama ass.  But I mean really, how in God's name does someone forget how to take a damn picture effectively in only five months?  Holy rusty!

Dress: Reformed by the Reformation (Urban Outfitters)

Shoes: Dolce Vita

Sunglasses: Ray Bans

Bracelets: Mexico and Goodwill

As I look at this photo I know, unequivocally, that my ass had to have been just completely exposed to anyone on the other side of me.  Eeeesh.  This is one of the shortest dresses I own, so I guess I should have assumed that would be the case.  

Really, this post wasn't necessary, but I need to get some momentum here...

save the llama for your mama...

I excel at bad puns...

So you know when a dear old friend texts and you see it and go "awww!" and you mean to text back but then you get a phone call or somehow otherwise distracted.  Then you remember it later but you get distracted again because you have quinoa burning on the stove, and then like a week later you remember you never texted back and you want to text back right then but you're in pretty heavy traffic.  Then months pass and you just feel like a piece of shit and you want to text back but you feel so much time has passed it would be insulting to text back, and it slowly and painfully gnaws at you...

Anyone with me on that?

Well that is what blogging turned into for me... and you eventually just have to man up and text back, or man up and blog, rather.

I feel that since this is conceivably the last New Year's for which we will make resolutions, since the hysteria surrounding that 2012 bullshit may just lead to the downfall of mankind, I should actually make and carry out some myself.  That includes less fucking around.

You know when you are just so overwhelmed with things to do and you are spread so thin that instead of rolling up your sleeves and getting down to business you just shut down?  That's what I've been doing these last five months... just been operating on autopilot.  I haven't been giving anything in my life 100%, which is a shame.  My New Year's resolution is essential to stop fucking around.

That's pretty reasonable, right?  Anyone else got some pretty awesome and super vague resolutions?

Sweater: Madewell

Skirt: Urban Renewal (Urban Outfitters)

Shoes: Swedish Hasbeens

Sunglasses: Ray Bans (Prescription!  Thanks Bahb!)

Oh, I just realized that the title is even WITTIER than I originally thought!  I know what you're thinking, "WITTIER than replacing one word with another word that rhymes in a pretty popular saying?!  IMPOSSIBLE!"  Well, it is, it really is because... DRUMROLL PLEASE... my mama actually bought me this llama sweater at Madewell in Annapolis!  

Anyway, Happy New Year's everyone and seriously... how the hell have you guys been?!

Here's to less fucking around :o)

Sup.

Please read the above "Sup" with a distinct masculine bravado and, might I add, it also helps to imagine I'm grimacing and giving a head nod as I say it.  And of course, it is not so much a question as a salutation.  Hence the period in lieu of a question mark.

Anyway, it's been a while.  I suck.

I blame the heat... well the heat and how unbelievably busy I've been.  Between work and research and studying for the PhD qualifying exam (i.e. THE hardest test I will ever take in my life. Period.) I have kind of shut down on extraneous activities.  If I have free time I chill, hard.  But I missed blogging.

It's strange now because it is so ungodly bright that I really have no homogeneously shady spot in my backyard to take pictures.  If I'm fully returning to bloggin', Imma hafta figure this sun thing out.

Dress: Urban Outfitters (Cope)

Bag: Lucky Brand

Shoes: Nicole

Necklaces: one is from an Indian Reservation at the Utah/Arizona border and I made the other two

Bracelets: I got one in Venice Beach and the other I made

Sunglasses: Forever 21 

How was everyone's 4th of July?  Back to that whole "shutting down completely" thing I mentioned above, that's totally how my long weekend went... it was nothing but pool parties and going out to the bars and relaxing with Bahb.

Speaking of Bahb... please see my Bahb-let below.  I made it! Seriously, the best investment of my life had to be this bag of alphabet beads.  I now have bracelets that read... Ahem...

BITCH TITS

TRUDE N TONK

BOX LUV

and of course, BAHB

I also made Bahb a bracelet that says RAZ (a Raz-let, if you will) and gave Bahb's roommate a rainbow colored bracelet that says BAHB. 

Anyway, a thousand apologies for sucking at blogging.  I have missed you guys and I especially thank Dimi for her understated, yet genius, suggestion to just blog when I feel like it... 

Seriously, that's such a great idea, it felt like a responsibility for a while there and there is really no point in that.  This should be an enjoyable outlet, not a chore.  So blogging when I feel like it is then!

How has everyone's summers been?!  

Have great days anyone who sees this!

Oh no! Mi Ojos!

Yesterday was a red letter poopy day for my eyes!

First... I left my samples in the oven for what would be a run involving five different cycles of ramping to various temperatures and holding for various amounts of time that would add up to around 40 hours total... needless to say I programmed the oven and left.  Well, I returned the next day to check on it and it said POWER FAILURE across the screen, so I go "Oh no!  My samples!" and open the oven only to find my face greeted with 1300 degrees Celsius of blazing heat.  HOOOOOLY crap.  There is no way to adequately describe the awesomeness of that kind of heat assaulting you from 6 inches away.

My eyes still kind of hurt and my vision was blurry and watery for awhile... I am horrified there might be permanent damage, but Bahb assured me the same thing happened to him plenty when he used to fire his own pottery (have I ever bragged about his pottery?!  It's beautiful and he gives me some from time to time!).

THEN!  Then I noticed I didn't have my glasses in my purse and I remembered I was struggling to put them back in their case at the checkout at Target when I was buying a sun tea jar (I just HAD to have sun tea, didn't I?!).  Since the sun tea jar was too big to carry with one hand, I guess I didn't notice in my fumblings that my glasses didn't make it into my purse.  

By the time I noticed they were missing they were long gone.  Even though they were prescription, they were still Ray Ban Wayfarers and the lady at Target broke it down for me when she said "look, many people have lost Ray Bans here, but none have ever made it to the lost and found."

People these days!  I need those to SEEEEEE!

Button Up: H&M

Dress: Urban Outfitters (Nom de Plume)

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbells

Bangles: Forever 21

I need to rush off to get my hair cut and dyed right now.  I am trying to grow it out, but I just want to cut it short so much.  It will be an epic battle to see how long I hold out before I have an ultra-pixie again.  

Also, I need to go get some glasses today!  My old ones look terrible and make me dizzy.  I'm kind of tearing up thinking about my old glasses, they were with me through a lot.  They were tear-stained for months after a really bad break-up, but they were also cutely misshapen from falling asleep (in jamroom, duh!) countless happy, snuggly times with Bahb after watching marathon amounts of To Catch a Predator or The Office.  Good or bad, they were my key to understanding and interacting with my world and I never would have imagined my connection with them would be this profound.

I'm literally tearing up!  I mean, really?  Who cries over lost glasses?  It's like they were my security blankie... my reassuring comfort that no matter how random and strange my new "adult" life might become they would always be there and I would always look out from behind them unchanged.  

As I sit here, squinting at the computer screen trying to see what I'm typing, I implore you, go hug and kiss your glasses, tell them how much you appreciate them.

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos...

I am still being a bad blogger... it was so easy to get out of the habit of blogging and now I'm finding it's almost impossible to get back into it...

So the wonderful Dimi at Little Witches/Tiny Wizards so graciously bestowed upon me the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award, and I definitely need to do a post about that asap!

But today me and my messy lookin' hair need to be real quick.

I'm meeting an old friend of mine who moved away for college years and years ago for frozen yogurt and a stroll around Tempe Town Lake tonight, which is why I referenced a Jay-Z song from the early 2000's.  We listened to so much bad music together back in the day that it now makes me basically bubble forth with nostalgia when I happen to hear it again.

Like Taking Back Sunday?  Like The Used?  Yup, and even like Cam'ron's "Hey Ma" and Paperboy's "Ditty" and Nappy Roots' "Aw Naw."  Awesome.

And of course Jay-Z's "99 Problems."  And I actually have two prominent (peep-toe) holes in my zapatos today.

We were so cool driving around in my 30 year old Mercedes singing along with all of these mainstream rap songs while we drove to Wendy's for lunch or as we rushed off to Superstition Springs Mall as soon as school got out.

Tank Top: Blue Cult

Skirt: Urban Outfitters (Lazerade)

Necklaces: a little gift shop in Tombstone, AZ and Buffalo Exchange

Shoes: Sam Edelman

Sun Glasses: Ray Bans

Whoa, "Ditty" is going to be stuck in my head all day now. It's my own fault, I keep hitting "Replay"on YouTube.  I have been basically listening to it all morning.  

Just bob your head for Paperboy and the Ditty, you know?

Anyhoo, I feel a little bit like Lydia with all them there necklaces, but I have to say I like it.  I always appreciate how Lydia pulls them off so here's my homage.

Have great Tuesdays!  Holy shit, is it really Tuesday?  I thought it was Monday until I typed Tuesday.  

Dumps Like a Truck

So I recently gained like 8 pounds.  Well maybe "recently" isn't entirely accurate, since Christmas let's say.  

Now I am usually ridiculously hard on myself about my weight, but this time I kind of just let it slide.  I haven't wasted much time worrying about it or starting in on this vicious cycle of self-loathing that sometimes I tend to do.  I've kind of just accepted that my bum and thighs have filled out a little bit, and at 24, that's probably completely normal.  Besides, I weigh the least when I'm unhappy, so I can't really complain too much... :o)

But now that it's getting hotter and my outfits will need to get correspondingly smaller, I'm starting to get a little bit insecure.

I mean I put on these shorts and wondered, "should I actually go out in public in these?"  

But it is such a long walk from where I park to the lab, that unless I am fine with being a sweat-soaked mass of fussiness by the time I get there, Imma need to show some skin.

My main reason for photographing this outfit today, although I'm pressed for time, is just to try and see if it is offensive for my newly thicker bottom half to be showcased thusly... 

Meh, I'm sure it's fine.  I'm also sure that no one give a shit what I look like from the waist down.

Like a wise woman I once knew said, "I can't see behind me and see how fat my ass looks, so why should I waste time worrying about it?"

Shirt: Thrifted Ecote

Cami: Express circa 2002

Shorts: Urban Outfitters (Nom de Plume)

Belt: Thrifted

Sun Glasses: Forever 21

Sandals: Coach

So I am still ridiculously burned on my back, a little tiny bit on my chest and all over my bum, so bras, form-fitting shirts and rigid denim were completely out of the question.  

I have to say that this outfit is soft and comfy and probably the most perfect post-sunburn outfit I've ever concocted!

Sorry if I seemed whiny about the whole weight thing...

Twas not my intention, I just wanted to mention it since it was on my mind, anyway, have great Wednesdays anyone who sees this!