I'm just tellin' you tings.

Wait... Oh Gurl.  Is that- 

Uhhh, yeah, yeah it is.  It's another Dear Creatures creation.  This one was purchased via eBay for $30.  Weee!  I did mention that I've gone off the deep end with this Dear Creatures shit, right?

So, anyway, I have only had this this little frock of perfection for a week, and it has already been through the ringer...

It's a small, and I usually can't do smalls because I'm built like Justin Beiber from the waist up (make NO mistake, from the waist down I am ALL J.Lo, it feels weird to reference J.Lo past 2005... Also, I'm sure my dump is nowhere near as spectacular, but I'm just trying to convey I done got me something back there, this is a long parenthetic sentence, I literally did not know parenthetic was a word, I just typed it and it didn't have squigglies and looked it up, and that shit was spot on, now I'm just being a dick and typing to type, sorry), but the measurements said the waist was 24 inches, so I figured it would be fitted enough.  Well, the dress arrived, and it is just everything I could hope for in a dress, the cut, detailing, quality, colors... everything!  Then I  go and try it on... and it's... it's... HUGE.

I mean, beyond just a little roomy, this dress was incredulously large.  If I stood still in the dress, I could stand there with the dress not touching any portion of my body from the shoulders down.  That's how large it was.  This was, needless to say, a pretty big let down.  Then I got myself one of them ideas...

I'll wash it in hot water and then throw it in the dryer!

Dress: Dear Creatures

Sweater: Random Ross find from like 2006

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

Purse: DKNY

It really did resemble a pile of throw up when I opened the dryer, what with all the tan and subtle bits of green here and there, but it did the trick, the dress shrunk to almost perfect!

Following a really strenuous ironing... we were good to go!  Weeee, again!

I wore it to Tour de Fat the very next day.  For those of you not familiar with Tour de Fat, it's a good fucking time.  It's a Fat Tire beer festival that is heavily bike themed.  There is this huge bike parade that Bahb and I took part in this year, and a lot of people deck out their bikes as well as themselves in just ridiculous costumes.  It's a lot of dudes with handlebar mustaches wearing Speedos basically.

Anyway, it was hot as hell that day and I did my share of drinking, so this dress took a beating.  It got every beer flavor I enjoyed doused on it, it got some lovely grass stains and, my favorite, I dropped a beer in my purse (ruining my phone, but that matters far less) and it caused the black leather to bleed all over the side of my lovely, newly fitted Dear Creatures.

Then I got another one of them ideas...

And I washed it just as I did before, and it looked almost good as new!  I tell you what, this dress took a licking and kept on ticking.  

I feel strange typing so much about a single dress, but to be fair, I am just always around guys. Between work and the lab and school, I have so precious few opportunities to just spew nonsense about clothes, so when I do, I go to town; the entire history of the dress needs delved into and discussed.  It's kind of like those days when I would stay home sick or something and wouldn't interact with any humans until that evening when I'd see Bahb and I would just start to tell him every last fucking thought I thought that day, and he so politely goes "uh huh, oh, really?  uh huh, that's neat..." 

So every now and then when I start rambling and going on and on because I get so happy to see him and I feel need to share everything with him, and he'll just go "you tellin' me tings, huh??" and I get the hint.  I don't by any means stop talking though.  I talk a lot you see.   A lot a lot.